Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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