everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
