Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Randomize
