that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize