I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
try to milk me bitch
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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