oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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