i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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