That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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