can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
