Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
