i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
