corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
