Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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