guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
