every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
