This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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