Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
