I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
