Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
