the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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