Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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