this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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