I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
