My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
