I just saw a hot homeless man
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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