"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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