I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
