DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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