tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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