If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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