i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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