She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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