I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
