goodnight i made you a song goodbye
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
