i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
