spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
