Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
