The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
