I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Of course I have a pirate flag
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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