Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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