We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
