Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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