It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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