I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I pour the whiskey from now on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
