He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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