I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
