do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
