I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
