So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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