considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
