we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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