I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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