I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
