then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
