Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
