Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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