my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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